《When I Stopped Loving, I Stopped Crying》

On May Day, during a self-driving tour, I drove recklessly at night, causing the car to overturn and catch fire.

Chandler ignored me trapped in the backseat with my thigh stuck in the door, seriously injured.

He hurriedly rescued his scratched childhood sweetheart, hailed a car, and left me behind.

The next day, after waking up from surgery, I saw his childhood sweetheart’s post on her social media.

"Who says childhood sweethearts can't compete with new romances?  I will always be the first in his heart!"

Everyone aware of the situation was waiting to see if I, the real girlfriend, would make a scene and embarrass myself.

I replied indifferently, "Congratulations, you don't have to be sneaky anymore!"

——

The day after the accident,Chandler finally remembered me,his girlfriend.

But he didn't ask about my whereabouts or injuries.

Instead,he came questioning me,seeking justice for his childhood sweetheart,Lily.

"Yasmine,how can you talk like that?Lily is my junior sister.She got hurt,and I can't just watch!"

"We are innocent.Why do you always misinterpret us?"

Not a word about how I survived that night in the burning car.

I merely mentioned,"Chandler,I am injured too..."

"Are you crazy,imitating how others speak?Can't you stop being so boring?"

He impatiently hung up.

Six days later,with a steel plate in my thigh,I was discharged.

Chandler finally decided to unblock me.

"Where are you?Shall we have dinner together tonight?"

I knew the cold war was ending.

In our relationship,he always acted on his own whims-quarreling,cold shouldering,or reconciling when he pleased.

I was the humble one,never refusing,never saying"no."

But after this brush with death,I felt extremely tired and bored.

Usually when he initiated reconciliation,I was relieved and joyful.

But this time,I remained calm and simply replied,

"In hospital."

He finally called me,asked for the location,and insisted on picking me up.

It was a half-hour drive.

I was limping on one leg,running up and down to get discharged.Even the cleaning lady couldn't bear to watch and came to help me.

Finally,everything was done.I waited at the hospital entrance with my bag in hand from morning to sunset.

I never saw him,nor received another call.

When I finally left by taxi,Lily updated a picture of Chandler's back as he mopped floors,

The caption read:"A good senior who is suitable for home and family!"

The other shoe dropped.

No anger or disappointment,just faint relief at the expected.

Lily was right,I would always be second to her.

At home,everything was as I'd left it before our May Day trip.

Chandler hadn't been back all week.

I cleared out the guest room and collapsed,exhausted.

Ten hours after he promised to pick me up,still no word.

Then my business mentor sent a message.

"Are you sure you don't want to participate in this project?Although it requires staying in the desert for five years,it's a national scientific research project.It's the opportunity you dreamed of when you were in school!"

Since I was a child,I had dreamed of exploring the stars and the sea,so I chose aerospace as my major in college.

I thought that after graduation,I would pursue a career in scientific research and realize my childhood dream.

But I didn't expect to meet Chandler.To be with him every day,I gave up my dreams of becoming an aerospace engineer,scientist,and academician.

"Yasmine,you have good grades in your major.Although you've been delayed for two years,you still have time to catch up.If you give up this opportunity,it will be difficult to get back into this industry in the future."

My tutor advised earnestly.

"Teacher,I am willing to participate in this project."

The mentor responded excitedly,

"That's right.If this project succeeds,it will go down in history.Your name will appear on the country's wall of honor!"

"The project is currently in preparation.Take this opportunity to consolidate your professional knowledge.It would be best if you could study carefully based on recent experimental data."

My life had become so barren,with only Chandler remaining.

Yet he abandoned me when I needed him most.

I decided then-while I still had time,I would live for myself.

I should have just broken up with him.

But now that I have taken on this project,I decided to hold off on breaking up to avoid wasting the limited time I have left on emotional entanglements.

Chapter 2

I took out my long-forgotten professional books and started a study plan.

Time flew by as I immersed myself in my work,thoroughly enjoying it.

I didn't even notice when Chandler returned.

"Yasmine?"

I looked up,realizing he was in the room.

"You're back?"

I rubbed my eyes.After not reading for so long,they felt uncomfortable from such engrossed studying.

"Why didn't you answer the phone?"

His words contained a hint of questioning and anger.

I didn't understand.I just didn't answer the phone.He used to ignore my calls and messages constantly.

"I was busy,I guess I didn't hear it."

This was the excuse he had given me countless times,now returned unchanged.

I propped myself up with one leg,finding my phone buried under books-several missed calls.

Only then did he seem to notice something amiss.

"Your leg..."

I glanced at my right leg with the steel plate,not wanting to elaborate.

"I've already finished the surgery.It's not a problem."

A trace of guilt flashed across Chandler's face,and he awkwardly stepped forward to help me.

I had already grabbed the cane from the table,avoiding his hand as I headed for the door.

"Lily was injured that day.She has hemophobia and said she couldn't breathe.I wanted to take her to get checked out first and then come back..."

Meeting my gaze,he couldn't continue.

Lily's"injury"was just a scrape on her right hand,covered by a large bandaid.

The idea of returning was a joke.

He turned away,coughing dryly to cover his embarrassment.

"Cockroaches were found at Lily's today.She's been terrified of them since childhood.I could only clean and disinfect for her..."

I stopped at the guest room door and looked back quietly.

Of course.She is your junior sister.

He seemed stunned,as if not expecting me to say that.

After all,I used to hysterically question my importance to him.

"Yasmine,could you please stop with the sarcasm?Lily and I are..."

"Innocent.If you wanted to be together,you would have long ago.You've said it many times.I know."

"My legs hurt and wake me up at night.In order not to disturb your rest,I will sleep in the guest bedroom."

"You've had a busy day,you must be exhausted,so you should go to bed early!"

I pushed open the guest room door,got into bed,closed my eyes.

I heard his muffled curse through the door.

The next morning,I was woken by Lily's shouts as soon as she entered.

Lily came and started shouting as soon as she entered the door.

"Brother,Yasmine is not up yet?You spoil her too much."

"I came with all my bags,but she's still sleeping.Doesn't she welcome me?"

I leaned quietly against the bedroom door,watching her feign grievance in front of Chandler.

"How could that be?I'll go call her."

He knew I'd slept late after being injured.

When he looked up,our eyes met as I regarded him calmly.

Lily jumped towards me,covering her mouth exaggeratedly.

"Yasmine,is your leg really injured?"

"I'm so sorry,it's all my fault.If I hadn't fainted and had trouble breathing,Senior Brother wouldn't have been so anxious to leave you behind."

Her voice trembled,but her eyes revealed hidden pride.

Chandler couldn't stand it anymore.He stepped forward,patting her shoulder tenderly.

"It's not your fault.In the dark,none of us could see clearly."

"Yasmine,were you in pain and scared at that time?"

Looking at Lily's seemingly concerned face,I was back on that dreadful night.

Before our May Day trip,Lily complained of boredom and wanted to join us.

Packing last minute,she left late and got stuck in traffic.

As night fell on the country road,visibility was poor,so I asked Chandler to drive slower.

But Lily,in the passenger seat,kept urging him to go faster due to a stomachache.

The accident happened instantly.My head was hit repeatedly,leaving me dazed with searing pain in my thigh.

I called out"Chandler".

But he ignored me,hurriedly picking up Lily and disappearing into the darkness.

My thigh was stuck in the car door.Despite agonizing attempts to free myself,I failed.

The front caught fire.In that moment,I felt utter despair,thinking I would die.

Fortunately,a kind passerby rescued me just before the car exploded.

I came to my senses and nodded calmly.

"Yeah,I was very scared.Without those kind people,I would've died minutes later."

"Yasmine,I don't know..."

Chandler showed rare guilt,wanting to comfort me.

But before he could take a step,Lily grabbed him.

"Wow,surviving disaster means future fortune!Senior brother,it happened,no need to blame yourself too much.Let's buy Yasmine a cake to apologize!"

Blame and make amends?

That wasn't necessary.

They quickly comforted each other,no one really caring about my feelings as the victim.

They returned swiftly with an exquisite strawberry cake.

"Yasmine,thanks to you,I can eat this today."

Chapter 3

I stayed in the library to study.

Chandler sent me messages.

"Where are you?When will you be back?"

My phone was on do not disturb mode,so I missed it.

"What would you like to eat tonight?I know a great restaurant,would you like to try it?"

"Yasmine,the lemon tree leaves are turning yellow,what should I do?"

...

I hadn't checked my phone for just one afternoon,yet Chandler had sent me a flurry of messages-more than we had exchanged in all our years together.

I'm always the one initiating conversations.When happy,he might reply with a"hmm",but otherwise,he ignores me.

When did his personality change?

Reluctantly,I headed home only after the library closed.

As soon as I turned on the light,I saw Chandler sitting dazed on the sofa,holding his phone.

"Where are you?I'll come pick you up."

He repeated the message I had just received.

"I was researching and lost track of time.Why aren't you in bed yet?"

I asked.

Leaning against the door,he looked at me with a complicated,unreadable expression.

"Yasmine,I've already apologized for the accident.Regarding today's cake,I'll be more mindful going forward.If you have other concerns,let's sit down and talk them out."

"Relationships thrive on communication,and a cold war won't solve anything."

It dawned on me that he understood effort was needed,yet stubbornly chose a cold war to force my compromise.

I dried my hands,scrutinizing him carefully.

"Chandler,check your phone and see how many times you've actually responded to me."

He turned away embarrassed,then stubbornly asked after a while...

"Is this about Lily?I can explain."

"No,I don't care anymore.Besides,you and she are childhood sweethearts and senior siblings.It's only right you take care of her."

Not wanting to argue further,I gestured toward the withered lemon tree on the balcony.

"It's already dead.There's no saving it.Besides,the lemons were bitter and astringent,not worth keeping."

That lemon tree was like my love.

Once it tried producing many thin-skinned,watery lemons.I soaked and gave them to Chandler.

He was eating oranges fed by Lily,with a look of disgust.

"It's sour and bitter,so unpalatable!"

During my surgery hospital stay,Chandler neglected it.

So it quietly died.

Chandler pursed his lips,guilt flashing in his eyes.

"This weekend is my last tour stop,here in our city.Want to come?I'll get a VIP seat."

I organized study materials from last night.

Hearing this,I didn't look up at him.

"Perhaps it's better if I don't go."

Chandler's a renowned pianist.I once aimed to follow in his footsteps,hoping my efforts would earn his recognition someday.

But he never let me attend his performances,fearing it would affect his career.

Once,oblivious to this,I secretly bought overpriced scalper tickets,traveling thousands of miles to surprise him.

Unexpectedly,his face darkened immediately,and he pretended not to know me.

He even told others I was just an enthusiastic fan.

Now he offered me VIP seats on his tour.

In the past,I would have been overjoyed,jumping three feet high.

Chandler seemed stunned by my refusal and stood there in a daze.

After a while,he seemed to make a decision.

"Yasmine,are you sure you won't come?I wanted to introduce you to everyone."

I had dreamt countless times of him openly acknowledging me in the spotlight.

But now that my dream was about to be realized,I felt no excitement or thrill.

"You know our situation.It's better not to make it official in public."

I declined.

"It's up to you,to go or not!"

Since we've been together,I've never opposed him,

let alone repeatedly reject him as I did tonight.

He was humble enough,but I still couldn't appreciate it.

He slammed the door and left.I calmly organized the documents and thought about returning to work tomorrow.

Chapter 4

When I woke up the next morning,I couldn't tell if Chandler had stayed up all night or risen early.

"Are you heading to work today?Your leg isn't great;let me drive you,"he offered.

Seeing me up,he stood,appearing awkward and uneasy.

"Yeah,there's a lot to catch up on,"I replied.

"No need to bother.It's better not to be seen together,"I insisted.

Chandler's place was quite a distance from my workplace.Initially,I used to ask him to drop me off,

but he always cited his celebrity status and hailed taxis instead.

After a few attempts met with no response,I stopped asking.

Deep down,I knew those were just excuses.He had no qualms sending Lily home countless times.

"It's fine.If we're seen together,it might as well be official,"he replied.

Gathering my things,I balanced the bag in one hand and leaned on my crutch with the other.

"No need,I've already arranged for a ride,"I insisted.

He remained silent but took the bag from me.

"I'll walk you to the car,"he said.

I wanted to refuse,but seeing his somber expression,I swallowed my objection.

What was the point of arguing over trivial matters when we were about to part ways?

As we approached the car,the driver,noticing my condition,courteously stepped out and opened the door for me.

"Is this your boyfriend,miss?He seems really caring,"the driver remarked.

I smiled at the driver's assumption.

"We're just neighbors.He's lending a hand out of kindness,"I clarified.

Chandler froze,staring at me in disbelief.

He always said to keep a low profile when in public.

There was a lot of work to be done,especially the front-line experimental data-a headache.

I worked day and night in the laboratory and slept in the company dormitory at night.

Time passed quickly as I was immersed in the ocean of data,with no time to pay attention to the outside world.

One day at noon,during lunch with colleagues,one of them pointed enviously at a video on her phone.

"Wow,this is so sweet,childhood sweethearts,music couple goals!"

"It's said this pianist once boasted he would personally announce his significant other in ten years.Now at the last tour stop,he openly showed his affection on screen.I'm so jealous."

Out of curiosity,I leaned over to look.

On the screen,Chandler,dressed in a suit and tie,played the last piece sweating.Lily,in a white princess dress,held flowers and threw herself into his arms with tears.

Under the spotlight,the man and woman were a perfect match.

I looked down at my dusty work clothes,then curled my lips and smiled.

My sea of stars is much cooler than your stage.

Lily updated her social media promptly:

"A weary bird knows how to return home.You are my everlasting warm nest."

I smiled and deleted Lily.

Late that night,I received a call from him.

"It's so late.Why aren't you going home?"